One of the most important – and most difficult – conversations you can have with your family is how to plan for your funeral and other assorted end of life expenses. Even though it may be difficult to discuss, your family needs to know your wishes in order for the process to take place smoothly, since their judgment will likely be impaired due to grief. Here are some ways you can initiate the conversation with your family, as well as tips on what you should discuss.

Put together a conversation checklist

Before you begin the conversation, it would be helpful for you to put together a conversation checklist of points you need to be sure to hit. This should include what kind of burial you prefer, the type of accompanying service you’d like, and any personal touches you need to include. Keep in mind that part of your funeral planning discussion should include your preferences for end-of-life care. It may be helpful to consider the different legal ways your family can acquire authority to act on your behalf so that they can make the necessary judgments to prioritize your needs, once you are no longer able to make the judgments yourself. Establish a power of attorney to someone you trust to manage your accounts; create a living will to outline your requests regarding what medical procedures you would and would not like to undergo should the need arise; and appoint a representative to deal with the Social Security Administration on your behalf. You may also wish to compose an additional document outlining your final wishes in both general and specific terms, so that you can be sure your preferences will be followed. Include anything you think might be relevant — such as the location of your will in the stressful weeks during the funeral process — it is easy for important items and documents to be lost. Mentioning their location in your final wishes document will make it much easier for your family members to locate them.

Gently initiate the conversation

Once you have gathered your thoughts, it is time to initiate the conversation with your loved ones. Choose your timing wisely – holidays may make it convenient for you to gather your whole family, but you may prefer a quieter, less busy time. You do not necessarily have to have every member of your family present, but you should include all of the people who may be involved in the funeral preparations. Be patient when initiating the conversation, as it will probably be difficult on everyone involved. Starting off with a gentle icebreaker may help ease everyone’s minds. As you go through the checklist, be sure to consider every aspect of each topic. For instance, your preferences on whether you would prefer to be buried or cremated may depend on several factors including your religion and the cost of each service.

Cover the costs of the service and burial

The final part of the conversation should involve how you intend the expenses to be covered. Funerals are expensive, and there is a difficult line to tread between giving the highest quality funeral possible and managing your family’s money wisely. If you want to leave money to pay for the expenses, you may want to look into a life insurance plan that includes a death benefit, which may be sufficient funds for your family’s needs. Burial insurance is a more precise type of insurance that specifically covers the cost of a funeral and burial. Check with your provider for details as the specifics tend to vary widely across carriers. Preneed insurance is similar in that it sets aside money for your family to use, but the money goes straight to the funeral service provider of your choice instead of your beneficiaries. Keep in mind that Wisconsin is one of the few states that prohibits cemetery/funeral home combinations by law. So, you’ll need to do a separate preneed plan for the cemetery and the funeral home.

While the conversation may be difficult, it is critical that your family knows your wishes and has a plan for when the end comes. By discussing the subject early, you will ease the minds of your family members, who will know they are following your wishes.

Photo Credit: pixabay.com